DAY 1:
The Sacramento Horror weekend started for me a few days before the actual festival. The previous two nights I slept at the office finishing off the edit for my latest movie. Then the Friday of the trip I was up at 3am packing and making sure Ruffles had her food and water for the next few days. At the office around 4:30am, I did final touches on my movie and then began burning DVD copies of both Roadside Killer movies.
The drive was close to five LONG hours. We tried talking, joking, singing but it was just still too long. On the trip we had my filmmaking partner John, his girl, Jennifer (real mom of lil Stanley in the movie and a huge horror fan) and me. What did happen during this drive changed the lives of the all my co-travelers. I introduced them to Mac & Cheese bites at Jack in the Box. They are these triangle shaped fried goodness filled with Mac & Cheese. The rest of the trip all they talked about and craved were these little mini delicious snacks. Before Sac Town we drove through a GIANT cow pasture and probably slaughter house. But the smell from all the cow poop was just unbearable. There must have been thousands of cows, hundred of thousands milk and poop spewing cows. All I thought about is cereal and throwing up, a nasty combination to say the least. Once we reached Sacramento we were treated to a giant car fire on the side of the road. That thing was blazing black smoke everywhere.
We first went to our hotel room to drop off our junk before heading to the Festival. We had three people staying in one room and believe it or not there were three beds in there. All side by side. We were going to be three little bears for the weekend. I decided this would be a good time to re-lace my orange Nikes with my new thick orange shoe laces. I was looking tight now! And explained to my fellow horror lovers that I’m like a chick with tits I get stared at and complimented over my shoes and jerseys. They didn’t believe, BUT by the end of the weekend, they would be believers!
At the Festival we hung out, I bought bunch of shirts and then we watched an amazing feature film from Spain. The movie is called SHIVER. The movie made me shiver for real, so well done so amazing with great suspense and acting. Another movie that stuck out to me on the first day was an animated short called Back to Life. It’s about Frankenstein being brought back to life but with his old human personality. It’s one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time. Wait … until Saturday that is. While Adrienne King (Friday the 13th survivor) and Harry Manfredini (Friday the 13th composer) did live Narration of Friday the 13th our sleepy-tired selves had to leave.
We went for a quick bite to eat at some local Pizzeria. The pizza took a while so we hung out and chatted. Everytime I got up to get some soda or just to stretch my legs, I felt visually violated. The “TITS” have kicked in. In a corner of my eye, I spotted a hot blonde chick eyeing me, well not me but my kicks. I stayed calm, the whole time keeping my shoes facing her. Let her enjoy the view, SOAK IT IN. Take it in, all of it! But don’t touch! Shoes are mine and me someone else’s! As my friends talked, the smitten girl, pizza in hand slowly strolled towards us. Her hair was flowing from the fans behind the pizza ovens, he eyes lit up in anticipation, he mouth was open with a nervous smile and then it happened! My friends at this point were all in staring in amazement as the girl leans in and says, “Nice shoes babe”. I nod to her but didn’t acknowledge her. BOOM …. goes the DYNAMITE! Another victim of the “TITS” I just looked at my friends, winked and say I told you so.
At night everyone went out but me. I was working on hardly any sleep plus I don’t drink. While everyone partied I napped and napped and napped. Only problem was that the AC unit is right above my bed. Loud and cold and a flu on the way.






DAY 2:
We were excited for this day … a lot of great movies and Horror Icons were going to be there. The Friday the 13th people from the previous day, Tony Moran (original Michael Myers), Tiffany Shepis (horror scream queen and all around hot chick) and of course the Chiodi Brothers (Critters 1, 2, Darlmen, Screamers, Team America, and KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTERSPACE)! Plus a lot of great movies and ROADSIDE KILLER #2. After breakfast we headed for the store for some supplies. While walking in a cop screeched to a halt, yelling at me through the passenger side window. I stopped thinking fuck fashion police is gonna get my orange covered ass. But nope the cop complimented me on my ICP jersey, calling me a fellow juggalo. I told my friends they need to watch themselves because my gear gets all the attention, good and bad.
On the trip to the festival, I missed a call from my girly and as I was checking my phone Jennifer saw the name on it. She was like, wait you know her?!?! And I was like yeah more then know here we are dating. She was like oh my god, NO WAY! And I was like yeah WAY! And then we were like two valley girls, going oh my god, no way! As we walked and talked to some 80’s gaylicious music we were in front the theatre where Tiffany Shepis was standing. We had to be cool again, so the conversation subsided. As we entered the theatre a second person commented on my jersey, I shake my head in amazement as I type. Can we get any more fun and cooler? Hhhhmmmm. I wish I was 18 again so me being cool actual mattered.






I spent loads of cash on stuff then we headed inside to watch a movie. I’ll leave it at that. It was a movie. Then came a group of shorts. Including ours! Burying the EX was cool with a pretty famous cast in John Francis Daley (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0197855/) and Danielle Harris (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0364583/). Then there was ROADSIDE KILLER #2. It went over pretty good. Since this one is dedicated to the original Black Christmas and the shlockiness of slasher films … real horror fans laughed and clapped. Others just laughed at the other humor. It was a great feeling having it on the big screen in front of strangers. Afterwards there was a Q&A with us. I was a bit nervous at first but once I had the mic. in hand it was on like Donkey Kong. We talked about the influences of the late Bob Clack’s Black Christmas and about the production itself. At one point the shower scene was brought up, which led to a short conversation about me being “Ivan” and not Slava. As this continued our friend and winner of Best Feature from last year asked me why I am infatuated with orange. So I told him that orange makes me happy and tastes great. Plus Fanta is the greatest drink in the world. That comment alone got the biggest crowd cheer all weekend! Before leaving the stage I was asked how long I have been a Juggalo (Insane Clown Posse fan)? Now that’s three today and one more coming!
Damian a fellow porn horror director came out in support of our movie. That was really cool of him to do that. He lives in Sacramento and in the near future is shooting a horror porn project. We all stood around outside chatting when one of the filmmakers approached us. He is from New York, at the festival for his own screening. He enjoyed our movie which made it for a better bond between all of us, we missed his unfortunately. Last year we met a filmmaker from the UK and we became such good friends he traveled back to LA with us. This is year we now had “New York” as our buddy. We also were approached by a filmmaker from Virginia … yup his name became “Virginia” and of course Blake the winner of the Best Feature last year hung with us as well. We had a posse of filmmakers. And now all of these people would see the coolness ooze out again. As Adrianne King walks by our circle of trust, she looks at me and says “Yeah Psychopathic Records”. Now that’s four in one day and from a horror icon. Bow Down to a Russian who’s Great then you! (borrowed from Westside Connection lyrics with a mild change).
I left the peeps behind and ran to my truck to get some XPW shirts. Tiffany Shepis was signing at her table. I knew she was a huge XPW fan back in the day, when I met her at Fangoria this year discussed our love that promotion. I took pictures of her in a Roadside Killer shirt back then and she remembered as I approached her. She lit up as I gave her the XPW gear. We took a picture and I asked if she would do a “Best PORN week Ever” promo for me. And she did the following day. She has a ridiculous amount of energy. And spunk. Our goal is to have her in Roadside Killer at some point. Tony Moran was walking around looking for attention which of course came his way.







Then the crickets got quite as the Chiodo Brothers walked in. I ran to my truck to get my Killer Klown mask that has been sitting in my office for years. I was being calm on the outside but giddy on the inside. They were very friendly and nice. I got a limited edition posted signed by them and of course the mask as well. They invited me back to their shop once I was back in LA. I am soooooo looking forward to this!
My friends dropped me off at the hotel and went partying. John came back at our 2:30am. With Jen gone I thought it would be a perfect time to get her. So I removed all her blankets and pillows, just leaving a bible in the middle of the mattress, one empty pillow case and a “sinner” note on the bed frame. The mattress was covered in stains, looking very disgusting. So I went to plan B. I took the filthy mattress and hid it. Then I covered up her box spring with all the bed sheets and pillows. Now she had a lower bed and HARD as hell. I had my video camera in hand waiting for the shoe to drop. Jen got in at around 4am as my camera rolled. The room was pitch black, I was hiding under the blanket as she approached her bed. First thing she says as she sits on her new hard bed is, “whaaaat the fuuuuck?” in a drunken accent. She then proceeds to lay down on it, again questioning the situation. She grabbed her cell. phone trying to lighten up the bed in the pitch black room. She leans over the side lifts the blankets and is confused. “What happened, where is the ….?” Then she sees me with camera in hand giggling. This is where I though she would flip out BUT all she says was that’s a good one. I’m glad Jen is that cool even when drunk, I wasn’t sure what to expect but it turned out perfect.




DAY 3:
We went to breakfast with New York then had lunch at this Mexican restaurant called Nacho Man. The owner wanted us to call him Nacho Man only, so we did. Between meals we watched Prombies which is a must to see. Some of the best cinematography and funniest stuff I have seen. Cheerbleeders was real good then came The Sleuth Incident. This short follows a Giant Teddy Bear through his journey of retrieving other bears by any means necessary. I have NEVER seen a movie where each individual frame was a work of art from lighting to camera to set designs. Gorgeous movie! There was an artist at the Festival who does “Hot Zombie Chicks” and other cool artwork (www.916halo.com). He drew an Ivan zombie for me. I am for sure going to have him do some custom pieces real soon.
This was a long weekend which concluded with Bonnie and Clyde versus Dracula starring Tiffany Shepsi and Trent Haaga. Both from old Troma days. The movie was fun with real good acting as well as really cool characters. Afterwards as promised Tiffany did a promo for Best PORN week Ever. Then we headed for room and some sleep. The weekend was amazing as we made some good contacts and saw some great movies. Most importantly we bonded even closer as friends on this trip and looking forward to more to come. Hopefully Sac Town and again maybe Utah … keeping fingers crossed!
