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My last Dinner with a Friend

Posted on 24. Jul, 2011 by Ivan in Too Personal

My Last Dinner with my Friend

No matter how much I struggle while writing this blog, it does not compare to my friend’s struggles. In the past few weeks our family dog of almost 14 years has gone through a transformation of a vibrant family member to struggling in just walking. Our usual Sunday family dinners were somber tonight. This was our last with our family member. She doesn’t eat and struggles to walk across the room. Tomorrow we will be saying good bye to her in person but in our hearts she has changed our lives.

Thirteen years ago I remember vividly … I came home from work and headed to our parents place. As I stood in the kitchen, in came my little 12 year old brother with a big smile. Following him my parents smiles lit up the room as in my dad’s arms was an adorable little german shepherd puppy. My little brother and I spent the whole night playing with our new family member and coming up with names. I was an adult and he was a little boy but we both were little kids chasing this puppy we named Whisper.

She brought the family together as our first pet and her spirit was quite infectious. One morning she knocked over a dozen eggs and pooped yellow for days. Thanksgiving she made her self comfortable in the kitchen finishing up our turkey dinner. She never was mistreated but loved. Even during mischievous times her eyes made it impossible to be angry.

Eventually my brother and I taught her to play goalie during our hockey games in the backyard. She loved it so much that upon hearing the word “hockey” she would bolt to the back door waiting for another pick-up game. Our games were wild as all three kids … me at 29, my brother at 14 and whisper at 2 would run in the house muddy and bloody from another game in the back. The hockey sticks and tennis balls are still sitting on the wall outside my place.

Whisper never was a mean animal often playing with my cat and eventually our new little maltese. The last two years she has been amazing with my niece, letting the baby sit on her, pull her ears and pretty much use her as a punching bag. Whisper would just smile and lay back. My niece named her “foo foo”.

Whisper learned the difference in our dad’s shoes. Sandals went on and she ran to the back for backyard fun, regular shoes mean front door and walk around the block. Smart animal and a great friend.

A few years back I went through a bad time with depression and my friend sat by me on every visit to my folks. No one knew what was happening on the inside but she did and she made sure I had comfort in someone. No words, just a friend sitting next to me at every opportunity. Licking my face and hands and nudging me in fun. Seeing her tonight emotionally kills me because as she was there for me I can only be there for her in mild ways. The last few days I try to sit by her and scratch her favorite spots. She doesn’t make eye contact any more. And won’t let me take any pictures.

For tonight’s dinner our dad didn’t yell at us when we fed her off the table in fact he joined in. Him and her are best friends and she hasn’t left his side in 13 years. Until tomorrow. Our dad is one of those tough guys with no emotion but I can’t imagine what he is going through right now on his final walk with her as I write this blog. I snuck in to hang out with her and walked in on my parents about to take her for her final walk. Due to the redness in my eyes our dad asked me if I was sleeping, I nodded in agreement but we both knew better.  Whisper was standing by the front door and stumbled outside almost falling. This week her kidneys and back legs gave out. But tomorrow it will all go away.

I have spent too much time working and missed a lot of opportunity to spend time with her. And I’m sad for it. She doesn’t cry just moans when she moves and now she bleeds. To see such a wonderful creature struggle is sad beyond control. My night tonight will be spent laying next her. I want to make sure she understands that what we gave her doesn’t compare to what she gave us.

The last few days I kept busy working but haven’t stopped thinking about her since seeing her struggle so badly last week and on our conclusion to finalize it this Monday. I worked every day, shot and edited but limited my communication with people. I did not sleep. Only napping when my body needed it. But tonight I couldn’t push it all away. After our shoot my drive to dinner was very emotional as I tried to compose myself before arriving. Now as the final night falls for my friend the emotions are greater. My struggles do not compare to her’s, I can’t imagine what she is going through. Tomorrow my friend will be loved and spoiled with burgers and treats and hugs and kisses.

Then at 5pm we take her to the doctor for our final good byes.  Having a family pet was a new experience for us all and it brought us so close together. Now we are going through the sad part of saying good bye.  And again this week has brought us even closer together. Whisper upon her arrival in our lives changed us for the better and now as she leaves us, she will change us again in a meaningful way. For that I have to say thank you and I love you my friend.

New! New! RADIO interview and Reality Show trailer

Posted on 17. Jul, 2011 by Ivan in interview

I did LA Talk Radio with James Bartholet and Emy Reyes last month … LISTEN

AND here is the trailer for Kiki’s American Adventure reality show that aired last year on Playboy TV … TRAILER

New Article from Gram Ponante on who? Me!

Posted on 18. Feb, 2011 by Ivan in Blog, interview

http://gramponante.com/ivan-the-last-man-working-in-porn/

My XBiz Awards experience

Posted on 13. Feb, 2011 by Ivan in Blog, awards, slivan

These were my first X-Biz Awards … I guess to non-porn I should explain what these Awards are about. Porn like some other entertainment outlets honors their “best” in a yearly Awards show extravaganza. Mainstream has their Oscars, music has it’s Grammy’s, Soul Train Awards, CMAs, etc. … shit even Pimps have their Pimp of the Year Awards, (side note) not to be confused with Porn agents.

So us in porn wait every year in serious suspense to see who will be nominated for such acts as anal, or DPs or who can suck the meanest dick. And even who can “act”. But all in all, even with our fake / stage names we are honored to be recognized for our accomplishments whether we suck dick on camera or shoot someone sucking dick on camera. It’s all hand in hand. We want to be recognized for being the best at our chosen professional.

With 2011 approaching we at PUBA headquarters wanted to make sure we had a big presence this year as a company and most importantly with our Puba girls. AVN Awards were a huge success (BLOG later) and it was time for the XBiz version.

X-Biz Awards were on February 9, 2011. Kory and I were just coming off a crazy week of shooting (I shot 22 scenes), prepping and having our LIVE Streaming Super Bowl Puba Party. We were tapped out but the Awards were here and we needed to represent.

The company, myself and the girls had a total of 11 nominations so it was imperative we go in hopes of seeing one of us win.

I wanted to go all in style like my many AVN Award appearances. But I was tired and sleepy and hungry and just not in the Ivan ghettolicious mode. So I threw on my new Puba hat, some bling, my jew start rosary beads and off we went. The plan was to meet Asa Akira and London Keyes outside the Palladium by the Red Carpet. Well as always plans go the direction of kaka. Out front was this group of “Condoms in Porn” protesters. They chanted “Hey Hey what do you say, Condoms Condoms all the way!” Try the chant, it’s actually catchy.

(pause for the chant)

With my handy Slivan vlog camera, I recorded them, chanted with them and took pics of them. These people were cordial and polite in spreading their word of hate for pleasurable sex on camera. At one point some dude drives by and they hand him bunch of condoms, so he yells “I’m going to fuck all night!” And these people cheer him. So I guess they are not really anti-sex just but just anti-pleasurable sex. Okay okay, they are pro safe sex. Kind of.

Then I meet a camera guy for TMZ … so now my mission is to get our girls on the show. Talk about publicity, right? So I quickly call Asa, who says they are eating sushi. “Fuck that nasty raw fish and get over here”, I say with a nice tone and a choice of different words. I spent the next 30 minutes socializing and keeping this dude entertained while waiting for the girls. Then finally here they are walking towards us. The TMZ guy rushes towards the girls and manages to get Asa for a few questions about this event. Boom! Another day, another job well done for our chicas.

I then spent a few minutes behind Ron Jeremy as he was being interviewed by the local Fox Network News. But it was more then just an on camera appearance. I flipped my hat around to let the world see the coolest company logo in porn … our PUBA monkey

Red Carpet time! We were in line for what seemed like forever UNTIL the Spiegler girls get a rush from being Speigler Girls (one of top agencies in porn). Asa is a Spiegler girl as well and was showed to the front. Then my homie Asa hooks a Rigga (Russian N word) up. She yells, hey Ivan is with me. Not sure if her inside voice or wishful thinking projected out but all of a sudden there is security escorting me past mountains of porn peeps towards the red carpet. Thank you Asa my friend, but I think of you as a little sister who has sex in front of me while I record you. Now on the Red Carpet my anti-social shyness goes away and I’m there snapping pictures, shooting video and hugging up for pics with Asa. As usual I socialize with the media which helps in getting covered more. Then we head to the Brazzers TV camera guy, while he interviews Asa I yell behind her … which leads to a double decker of promotion for AsaAkira.com and Puba.com on Brazzers TV. As Tommy Gunn would say, “Nice!”

Gia Jordan

Once inside we socialized and ran into old friends. The show was okay but our fun was had outside. We didn’t win anything as expected but it wasn’t the point. We wanted to make an appearance and support our girls. Hopefully TMZ will put Asa on their show and these media pics will keep us in people’s minds.

But the night didn’t conclude until Kory grabbed me and took me to an old friend of mine. Kory was a bit buzzed so I wasn’t sure where or to who he was leading towards. Until … there she was Christy Canyon, my ex of sorts and one of the nicest, coolest, hottest people you can meet. From what I hear she often talks about me on her Playboy Night Calls Radio Show. She immediately introduced me as Slava (my real name) the guy she has a crush on to all her friends. It was flattering and awkward but fun. We chatted about our lives, families, business lives, etc. I even spent a minute or two trying to recruit her to Puba, My job never stops.  I walked her to her car and went searching for my ride. My night concluded around 1:00am as I headed home with a smile after a really good night at the X-Biz Awards.

VIDEO BELOW

VIDEO from the SHOW … WATCH!!!!

SLIVAN #79 – 2011 AVN AWARDS Red Carpet – Part 1 of 3

Posted on 12. Jan, 2011 by Ivan in awards, slivan

SLIVAN #79 – 2011 AVN AWARDS Red Carpet – Part 1 of 3

My 2011 AVN Awards Red Carpet experience was awesome. And I wanted to share it with all of you who support this VLOG and who approached me at the Convention with your praises. Thank you! This Part #1 of this fun 3 part series is about how I spent my pre-show time putting in my shoe laces, doing my weird looking hair and the journey with a bunch of porn chicas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdke4wTxVxU